When I was 5, my mother told me that, “this is the beautiful world with flaws. You’ll find the lions and the foxes out there”. I didn’t understand, what she meant because I was 5. How I supposed to be?
When I turned 8, obviously, I was lil grown up (by mind). As I was going to school, my mother was so concerned about me. Because she knew how world really is. But I didn’t. She advised me that, “make friends not by ‘who they are?’ but seeing ‘how they are?’.” And I didn’t realize what she meant. Again.
When I turned 10, an incident took place. That incident, I can never forget throughout my life. I was going home after having an exhausted day. I usually took rickshaw. So, I was hanging backside of the rickshaw and my other two friends were sitting on the front side of it. A man, might be the age of 45-50, came over and was trying to touch my legs. He pretended like he was trying to clean something over his pants. At first, I thought he did it, accidentally. But then, he was trying to repeat it again . I was ignoring it but he was doing it constantly. My mind got puzzled and heart was beating so fast. And then he did another nasty thing to me. He touched my underpants. My tears were pouring out. I wasn’t able to make any kind of decisions. And then, I screamed and said “No”.
He trembled and ran off. People came to me and they were asking what happened? . I didn’t say anything to anyone. I was so quiet. I was in a state of shock. When I reached home, I told everything to my mother. She said, “I told you about the foxes, he’s one of them” and was helping me to getting over it.
Slowly, things were going back to normal.
Finally, I understood what she meant.
When I turned 13, I have started to believe that I’m surrounded with lusty foxes. And unfortunately, my tuition teacher was one of them. Earlier, he was behaving like a well behaved human being. But we were wrong. He was fox in human attire. He took advantage of me. He touched me everywhere. When I countered him, he said “this is my way of teaching students”. I was so puzzled. I grabbed my books and ran off. Again, I told everything took place there to my mother. And She didn’t send me from the very next day.
Yes, again, I did nothing but just getting over it.
I was thinking, “My mother told me that they “exist”. But she didn’t tell me how to recognized them. They look like humans. They eat like us. They wear like us. They talk like us. Still, they are not like us. Why?”.
No answer found, till now.
But now, its over.
I’m 19. All grown up. I go out. Meet people around. I know, some of them are foxes or I should have say most of them. But this time, I will not gonna end up things just by saying “No” and ran off. I will fight back. I will teach you a lesson. Because I’m not that lil girl anymore.
Listen you foxes out there, I’m a girl. And I’m proud of it. If you will try to butcher my soul then let me tell you I won’t let you. I will not “shut up”. I know, sometimes and somewhere at some point I can loose upon me. But I can hold back.
When I say ‘No’, that means No. Not maybe or yes.